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Introducing the Ok Stupid Poetry Slam, an artistic, open-mic platform that allows you to transform those unwelcome dating messages into, well, poetry.

"It all started while sitting around The Rookery one night with Jamie [the owner] and some friends, lamenting about the dating scene in Bushwick and NYC in general," Tan Roberts, the event's organizer, explained in an interview with Bushwick Daily.

Yours, Evan Every line of this message can be thrown out. Because anyone whom you contact knows by virtue of you writing to them that a) you liked their profile, b) you liked their photo and c) you’d like a reply. That, my friends, is what separates the most successful online daters from the rest of the pack. In this case, I’ve written them for men replying to women, but the steps are applicable to everyone: Every word of it.

Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.

Jamie, the owner, thought it was so hysterical that he said, 'You’ve gotta do this here one night,' and it took off from there."Ahead of tonight's event at the Bushwick pub, Roberts shares nine of the completely insane, out-of-this-world messages she's received through her adventures in online dating.

7) A guy asked me if I would be willing to let him nurse on me while he wore woman’s panties!!! we will wear matching tights, get around in a stolen teacup ride form Disneyland, tour coffee shops. While you blow farts into a microphone, singing David bowie covers. Me: Oh…wow…well, ah, maybe you may want to talk to a counselor, or someone, about that before you begin dating… 12) “i am a vampire and i fly over your house and your work and watch you. i’ve already let my master see you he thinks you’re ready.” 13) “So I was thinking, we are clearly the two best looking people on this site and we should take advantage of it.

It’ll be a smash.” 9) “I would like to meet you face to face, you are so beautiful when you sleep.” 10) “Nice endowment.” 11) Him: My wife recently passed away. What do you say we go to Vegas and get married then make a happy family of perfectly aesthetic children that are so awe striking they make world rulers drop to their knees and beg to pay us huge sums of money for the genetic code.

” That was the question I asked over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall. And by hilarious, I mean that as a whole they make me laugh.

Individually, they really did creep me the heck out. 1) “I would like to introduce you to my other slaves.” 2) “I’m so glad you gave me your number…

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5) I had an older woman ask me if I would have sex with her so her husband could watch while he was gagged and tied to a chair.

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